A Humorous and Witty View of the World
Only not really.
I was slouching about on the interwebs one day, over email I believe it was, and was linked to a page. Maybe all you web savvy entrepreneurs have seen this already since you do nothing but find things on the net. But in any case.
Please, my dear people, please take a looksie at this link here.
http://shechive.com/2009/12/16/airbrush-much/
I mean, I knew that people were altered in their pictures, but I never actually realized how ridiculous of an extent it was that they were fixed up. It makes me feel a lot better about myself. As in, gee you’re a rather good looking human being, but you actually look like that? You mean your real body doesn’t look like that 24/7? What a thrilling thing to find out. I mean blah, blah, blah those magazines tell you that all the time, but sometimes you gotta see it to believe it, eh?
Honestly, how is a 13 year old girl supposed to know that as a general rule, when you sit down and lean over your stomach SHOULD scrunch up? I don’t even know if it’s possible for a stomach not to. Except maybe for some select few naturally skinny people or some fitness gurus. I wish someone had told me as a poor wee child. I don’t understand why they can’t just leave people’s pictures the way they are? I have no problem with a little photo fixing if there’s some random thread on the clothing, or a piece of stray hair, or even some dark bags under the eyes. I don’t mind if you make the people look pretty, what I mind is when you give people an absolutely and utterly ridiculous idea that they can accomplish looking like that in their real life bodies. It’s absurd, actually. Stop it, and you’d save little girls’ (and girls’ and women’s and maybe some men’s) self esteem. It’s nice to tell people that they look nice the way they are, EVER THOUGHT OF THAT YOU MAGAZINES?
Additionally, it drives me absolutely crazy how every single magazine has a fitness section. As if we can’t just leave our bodies alone. You know you’re reading the magazine, lala, clothes, makeup, boy advice, food, OH YOU SHOULD WORK OUT. Excuse me, come again? I remember there was one, ONE issue of CosmoGirl I remember that had nothing in about exercise/dieting. I don’t care if they call it being healthy, it’s still criticism. Portion control is good, eating what is tasty is good, eating what your body needs is good. I mean, I agree America is unhealthy, the whole world is. I’m a believer of healthy eating exercise, but for ONCE can someone lay off the whole weight issue? Sigh. Rant.
Let’s have another rant, eh? Prom dresses. I need a prom dress, because I’m going to be an obnoxious teenager and go to prom. Two proms, in fact, but I’m wearing the same dress. What a faux pas. Hahaha, that’s me. Oh no, quelle horreur, the pictures will be on Facebook. How obviously terribly humiliating. So, has anybody poked their heads about in the prom departments recently?
First off, NO ONE NEEDS TO PAY 300 DOLLARS FOR A DRESS THAT THEY WILL WEAR ONCE AS A HIGH SCHOOLER. No, really, it’s just not necessary. You will wear it for a few hours, then take it off and forget it. Don’t get me wrong, I want a pretty dress. Under 50$, is that possible? Maybe not.
Second, dress styles. I don’t want to see your navel, no really, I don’t. No, it’s not sexy if I can see your butt crack or your whole sternum. Two little cut outs on the sides of your ribs is awfully sketchy as well. There is a reason that we wear clothes, it’s to cover that up. And I don’t care how skinny, or well endowed, or shapely a girl is, it is never appropriate to me, or tasteful. Now I have no issue with a back cut out, or a low front, but if something’s about to spring out and take on a life of it’s own (you know what I mean) or if you have to keep fixing it while you’re dancing, your low cut is too low, my darling. I think it’s fun to dress up and look pretty and sexy and feel good about how you look. But, here’s a secret: You don’t need to look like a whore to do that!
Thirdly, sparkles. What are dress makers thinking? “Ooer, the more sparkles we put on a dress the more some poor sucker of a girl will think it will make them look beautiful and sparkly and special to snag their crush/seduce their man.”
Sadly, they may think that. But I digress.
More sparkles does not mean more better. Sparkles, beading, lacing, crazy ridiculous fandangoes going on on the top of the dress scares me.
Thus, I must bravely continue my search for a simple, elegant, classy, pretty, flattering dress that makes me feel pretty. Maybe it will have some sparkles, but if it has some ornate beading nightmare, please, shank it.
Now after ranting for a good few hours, I’m going to go back to sewing my iPod case. It’s getting on my nerves. Curse my lack of planning.
C
